{"id":4886,"date":"2020-06-25T19:21:52","date_gmt":"2020-06-25T19:21:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.skincancer.org\/?p=4886"},"modified":"2020-12-02T20:58:59","modified_gmt":"2020-12-02T20:58:59","slug":"ask-the-expert-how-to-tell-children-you-need-skin-cancer-surgery","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.skincancer.org\/blog\/ask-the-expert-how-to-tell-children-you-need-skin-cancer-surgery\/","title":{"rendered":"Ask the Expert: How Should You Tell Children That You Need Skin Cancer Surgery?","gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"text"}]},"content":{"rendered":"

Q: I\u2019m having Mohs surgery to remove a BCC on my forehead soon. How can I prepare my young kids for any bandages, bruising, bleeding or swelling I may have \u2014 without scaring them?<\/h4>\n

Thankfully, with Mohs<\/a> procedures for nonmelanoma skin cancers, you can usually go into this conversation with the knowledge that the patient, whether you, or Mom or Dad or Grandma or whoever, is probably going to be OK. If there\u2019s no need to bring it up, especially in very young kids, I would avoid the \u201cc\u201d word (cancer).<\/p>\n

Any conversation like this should be tailored to the individuals and their comfort levels. Generally, I would recommend being open and candid, unless your child has excessive anxiety. Give essential information, but not too much detail. And because you <\/em>may think you look a little distorted, set some realistic expectations.<\/p>\n

I would, however, advise against giving them details too far in advance. Give them enough time so they don\u2019t feel surprised or blindsided, whether a few days or a week in advance. But you don\u2019t want to start talking about it a month before, because from what I\u2019ve seen, all that\u2019s going to do is build up anxiety and fear.<\/p>\n

Your conversation could start with something like, \u201cLook, I have this spot on my face (or my arm or my leg) that the doctor is going to remove from me so that it doesn\u2019t get bigger. Can you believe for this little thing I\u2019m going to need this<\/em> many stitches?\u201d Exaggerate the size with your fingers, since a surgical wound is often three times as long as it is wide to avoid puckering. Also, the big pressure bandages used after some surgeries can be scary for little kids, so you might say you get a great big bandage to make it feel better.<\/p>\n

Some kids may think they want to see the wound. But if they can\u2019t look at themselves bleeding or you getting a cut, then clearly you\u2019re not going to show them your wound. If they think they might want to see it, I\u2019d ease them into it by showing them an online image so it\u2019s not as personal but gives them a sense of what they\u2019ll see.<\/p>\n

Still, it is hard to predict what kids are going to feel when they see a big wound on a loved one\u2019s face. If they have any interest in medical care, you could get them involved in it like a project. You could ask, \u201cDo you want to come to the pharmacy with me and get the bandages that I\u2019m going to use?”<\/p>\n

Eventually, if you have a scar, you can use it as a teachable moment and point of pride. I might say, \u201cA scar is a reminder that I wasn\u2019t so careful about the sun. It can do harmful things if you don\u2019t protect yourself. But I got it taken care of, and now I\u2019m OK.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n
About the expert:<\/h5>\n

\"JulieJulie K. Karen, MD,<\/strong> is a Mohs surgeon and specializes in the diagnosis and treatment of skin cancer at CompleteSkinMD in New York City. She is also a clinical assistant professor in the Ronald O. Perelman Department of Dermatology at NYU Langone Medical Center.
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Featured<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false,"gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"html"}]},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m having Mohs surgery to remove a BCC on my forehead soon. 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